Adoption Voices |
Book
In her own words, an adoptive mother shares her true story of love and belonging and what it means to be an adoptive parent.
This book contains sixteen stories that show Jane’s experience of being an adoptive parent to her three children. Despite the number of people whose lives are touched by adoption, it is a topic that is not well understood and is often misunderstood. This book endeavors to explain many of the mysteries and myths of adoption by letting the reader join in the intimate “adoption moments” that Jane and her children experienced together. It is also a book that invites readers to relate to these adoption stories and learn from Jane’s experiences and hopefully better prepare adoptive parents for the adoption moments that they may encounter.
Jane has decided to let her children’s stories speak for themselves except for these few thoughts. She believes that all adoptive children are traumatized in some way, and it manifests itself in different ways as you will see from these stories.
To one degree or another, Jane believes that all adoptees have feelings of loss, grief, confusion and sadness. It goes against human nature and behavior for a birth mother to leave or relinquish her child. Jane’s expertise and experience allows her to understand that no birth mother does this easily, and most spend the rest of their lives thinking about the child they relinquished. Because of this Jane encouraged her children to understand this as much as they were able and to love their birth mothers and talk about them if they want to.
When an adopted parent has a child that is full of lost love for their birth mothers and feeling of tremendous fear and confusion, it is the adoptive parents’ job to provide unconditional love, predictable and constructive care, and never forget that their stories are not your stories.
In her experience, family life is also full of love, laughter and a sense that the family is together for reasons that are in many ways inexplicable, but wonderous and joyful.
‘Clearly, Jane is a natural story teller. In this collection of poems she gently clears a path for the stories to tell themselves, much as adoptive parents ought to create safe space for their adopted children to own their individual stories. Jane’s poems are tender, candid, and revealing.
I found myself steeping in her words like a cup of chamomile tea. This book is a must read
and re-read for adoptees, adoptive parents, first parents, and their families.’Sally Bacchetta
Author of the very popular book, “What I Want My Adopted Child to Know”